Borderline Psalm 54

My internal chatter leaves me no peace
It shakes me like a rattling can full of coins.
My inner noises and conflicts consume me
Like a roller coaster from hell.

I love you
I hate you
Happiness beyond measure
Sadness beyond consoling
This one
No, that one
It’s good
No, it’s evil…

If I had the wings of a bird
I would fly to the highest tree top and be at rest.
I would flee to the wilderness
To get away from this world.
I would escape
If it did not chase me.

Where can I flee from its presence?
If I sit among friends
I am consumed by thoughts of insecurity and judgments
If I sit alone
I drown in my own sadness.

I am like the blind person
Groping in the darkness
Unable to reconcile
All the pieces within.

-Shadow

Behind the masks

You took all the pieces
And stitched yourself together
It became your comfort
Entangled in the tether.

How can I know you
The one behind the guise
Lurking in the shadows
Hidden behind your eyes.

Who are you
And where did you go
That one behind the masks
That little girl down below.

Will I ever see you
The one without a name
Wrapped up your blanket
And covered in shame.

Shadow
December 25, 2018